i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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