Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
