I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
