He asked to "fluff my boner.."
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
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