Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She announced her abortion via fbk
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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