I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
