i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
