I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
