I don't think brook has ever known best
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
