Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
