well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
