so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
