Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
