Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
