Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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