Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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