But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
