I think im going to throw up on grandma
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize