My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
