Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
