grandma shit on top of the toilet
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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