I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
