return my video game
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize