Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
