That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
