I think my vagina is haunted
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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