getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
