I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
