nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
