wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
