Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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