I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I made him laugh his dick is mine
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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