Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
