guys are not supposed to queef...right?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
