DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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