I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
well most of my day revolves around power hour
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
