We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
