We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
