nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
