Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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