They have a pepper shaker for pot.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
