Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
