I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
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