he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Damn victory sex feels great
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
