Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
