im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize