You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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