Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
