I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
