It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I have already put on my inside pants.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
