You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
