I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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