Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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