Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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