I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
