You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
