dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
