FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
